Hello Again...

2010-08-29T03:11:00.004+08:00

Had a blast spending Saturday with dear GF, she came over and lovely weather we are having today :)

Anyway, its 3.10am Sunday morning now and I still can't sleep. So maybe I'm going to play the album 'Does this look infected' by the artist Sum 41 to help me get by tonight.
And while I'm doing that, how about I pen down some of the thoughts the songs portray in me.
Personal Reflections by me, here we go :)

Song - HELL SONG
PERSONAL reflection - Some problems in life are just irreversible. You have to make a decision. For your own good.

Everybody's got their problems,
Everybody says the same thing to you.
It's just a matter of how you solve them,
And knowing how to change the things you've been through.

I feel I've come to realize,
How fast life can be compromised.
Step back to see what's going on,
I can't believe this happened to you. (ME)
This happened to you. (ME)

Song - NO BRAINS
Reflections - Hitting the wall at neck breaking speeds only to find out you could have slowed down the motion and saved yourself.

Can't step in my way
head first in your love and dismay
It's like beating the dead (I guess your down with that)
I can't stop going out of my head
whatever this could be I'd never know,
I never said it'd be the end all to be all

I hate you today,
I can't find a way,
don't drag me down now,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye, I've had enough frustration
I won't get stuck
Goodbye, this dead end situation,
it's just not worth my time

Song - Over My Head (Better Off Dead)
Reflection - Pace yourself with a possible scenario and paint a picture of how you would handle it to avoid the element of surprise life can bring.

What happened to you
You've played the victim for so long now in this game
What I thought was true
Is made of fiction and I'm following the same

But if I try to make sense of this mess I'm in
I'm not sure where I should begin
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'

[Chorus:]
Now I'm in over my head
with something I said
Completely misread
I'm better off dead
And now I can see
How fake you can be
This hypocrisy is beginning to get to me

Song - Still Waiting

Reflection - In Vain, you wait for the impossible to happen.

So am I still waiting,
For this world to stop hating?
Can't find a good reason.
Can't find hope to believe in.

Song - A.N.I.C

Reflection - Perfect anthem to sing away to your hated ones.

You look like ass, you smell like shit
So why are you such a dick?
You walk around like you're the tits
You always make me sick
Bound for agony
Your life's catastrophe

You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole

You make me sick

Song - All Messed Up
Reflection - (Sometimes)Problems surrounding you may take a huge toll on your emotional being and the best thing to do is not fall into the hole like everyone else.

Cause I'm all messed up
Making prefect nonsense
Drowning in my doubt too well
Cause I'm all messed up
Going nowhere fast but circles in my mind
So blind

Song - Mr. Ansterdam

Reflection - Undoubtedly this song goes deep into explaining what you do when you're left with no other choices.(Give it up)

I can't stop believing, there's something to be said.
What are we achieving with the bullshit that we're fed.
I know I'm not going to stay, or live to see the day.
this world comes to be, here's a resignation from me(x3).

Song - Thanks For Nothing

Reflection - Unpredictable, mistaken innocent people suffering from pigs left with authority being utilized without brains. Now who do we trust? KARMA brings hope to many.

All I know is
I've heard this all before
reality's a bore.
You ask me to believe in something fake,
well I can't bring myself to
do what you want me to.
This is who we are and
nothing's going to change.

Thanks for nothing,
I've heard this all before
thanks for nothing,
reality's a bore.
Thanks for nothing,
it'll never be the same.
Thanks for nothing,
and nothing's gonna change

Song - Hyper-insomnia-para-condrioid
Reflection - When you take away hope from the common man, all he's capable of now is to wait and watch his demise. You do not want to let that happen as he's your friend.

On and on
And I just feel helpless
how long will this take to wear off?
On and on
When will I get through this?
Welcome to my own down and out

It's dragging on
I'm wearing thin
I can't stop these walls
They keep caving in
It's gone too far
Where's my mind?
Why can't time stop fear this paranoia?

Song - Billy Spleen
Reflection - The man who cant be moved. More like the person with the worst attitude who refuses to change. And all the promises and words spoken were nothing but mere lies. One word for it all, 'malice'

No matter what I say, you turn your back away.
It's never going to break you,
it's never going to make you fall.

This fake reality
I never can make up the time that you take up.
It's my worst enemy.
I'm on a mission to feed my addiction.
so sick of thoughts so empty.
It's well overflowed I'm bound to explode.
so much so much for what for what we said.

Song - Hooch
Reflection - Another down and out victim picks up enough courage to muster himself against his enemy. With a plan and a counter-plan to ward off any possible outcomes that might set him back, again.

It's your last chance to find yourself in consequence.
It's so hard to find a simple reason.
Maybe I'll find myself with evidence.
Hate breeds with nothing to believe in.
Another day another day in paradise.
If you only knew wouldn't it be nice.

Get away get away get away.
I'm about to detonate.

Everything to prove
nothing to lose
just when everything has fallen to the ground
gonna knock it down
just believe me when I tell you it's alright.

DONE!

My intepretations may
not mean a thing, however if you do listen to the album it may bring out the picture I've seen.

Well, thats it for now, my eyes hurt and its about 1 hour that this took me.
Goodnight :D

PS: Well, why I chose this album?
The songs in here best describe my feelings back in 2006 as I remember myself fondly listening to the album. It also reminds me of a friend whom I've lost due to an illness in 2007, he used to play the song 'Thanks for Nothing' with his band and I would always look up to them with joy of how passionate music can bring 2 people together.
This goes out to you Raihan...may ALLAH bless your soul.

2010-08-10T15:44:00.003+08:00

IVE GOT NO MORE TRUST ON YOU.
LETS START PLAYING SILLY.

LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES
LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES
I might as well start dating a tree.
Ive got no time to emo NEMO.

BUT I HAVE GOT A GAME TO PLAY
Cheers, u have successfully transformed me.
:)

2010-05-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

false pretenses are just words being used to make ourselves feel better. the Truth is we would all rather just let the evil begin. this aint my story, bt to hell we ride

2010-01-11T15:42:00.002+08:00

Another shitty day is here

I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.
Is it over yet, in my head?
I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.
Is it over yet? I can't win.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
cause I will be the death of you.

This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.

Is it over yet? Let me in.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

2010-01-10T18:46:00.004+08:00

Just listened to a song that reminded me of a time nearly a year ago

Dancing In the school toilet with a friend
On the way back home
Introducing me to them
Fighting about which band is better
Feeling superior listening to songs that empowers you

Yes, I felt indestructible

I'm constantly being put on the test
I like my hands around your neck

Before we parted
I tried my best to get through
I used to hate the places that we go
Finger on the trigger I pulled that shit

Then like a bullet
Time flew by
In a way I wouldn't die out
I knew how to turn at every corner

blablablablablablablablabla

Started fighting again for all the wrong reasons.
It won't end.

Here we are
Again
In this world
Things changed slightly

I didn't
Inside, a fire was burning
Anytime
I would go

And as I think how small I am
I've seen the days
Swallow your pride
Nobody don't lie

THEN

YOU change me.
:)

Time is getting short.
I will meet everyone of u assholes soon.

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Spent my new years on nothingtoxic.com
GREAT! :)
Cant wait for tomorrow :D

2009-12-07T22:26:00.003+08:00

The wisest words I've heard in a while.

The life manual read,

Whether it's Singapore or America, it all comes down to this.
If you're honest, and treat a girl with respect,
then whatever happens is meant to happen because it's all perfectly natural.

Another girl another planet.

2009-11-27T21:24:00.003+08:00

youre nowhere to be found.

passed my cpr recertification and AED.
Can shock everyone now!

Anw, this week, i went through the training of how to deliver a baby.
Very cool!
The theory i know now, but practicals are a different thing.

Yeah, my level 2 training is ending in 3 weeks.
Then I'll have to go for Level 3 and then voila!
I'm still considering alotta options in life.

Anw, i got a great set of advise that I gotta use.
Screw it, you could have taken me anywhere.

youre still nowhere to be found.

2009-11-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

i am stoned, left behind.
And outdated. Hahaha!
I won't forget.
You face these lies.
I can' bear the truth.
Lets face the dark.

What's new.
Stop proving.

2009-11-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

sorry very long never update you.
anw, im having the time of my life at changi fire station.
not at school means holiday for me!

once in a while working part-tyme.
wanna save up some extra cash for the holiday im going with some pple at the eoy.
ishishish.....everyday i see chicks at hospital sia!
and today i saw one whom i thot looked like megan fox, but the malay version lah!
so god damn hot!
wow!

anw....i wanna go slip! byez!

2009-07-25T19:12:00.001+08:00

...i never meant to break you heart. I never meant to do all those. I never meant to do any of those, i never did....i just wanted the best for us.
I never wished for it to turn out this way...but sometimes these things are just so hard to say. I am sorry, but i know you dont find it tat simple to forgive my mistakes. Shit happens i know, but please dont give up on me now.
Im not my best without you by my side. give me another chance to prove myself....

2009-07-17T18:00:00.003+08:00

whoa whoa whoa.....

i went to school this morning...but im working night shift today...

i want to go out with all my friends.
I want many many money.
I want my bike.
I want to play guitar fast as hell.
I want to make time go back.
I want to have wireless internet on my Phone for FREE
I want out of Singapore.
I need a shining star right now.
I want to work tonight.
I want to be wasted again.
I want you to be my all...if you know wat i mean.
but my guesses are so wild and crazy...prove me otherwise.
Its hard to trust when old feels come back.

On a brighter note, i love night shift...must bring sleeping bag and camp.
This fire is out of control, we're gonna burn this city

2009-07-05T05:42:00.001+08:00

So here i am...its about 5.30am sunday morning and i feel stupid as fuck.

Haven't slept a wink, and having to work a 13hr job in less than 3hrs.
I feel shit.
Night slipped into morning...something on my mind kept me awake all night.
Caffeine isn't even this good i tell you.

So here i am, doing all i can...pretending im superman.
Growing older...dunno whether i've matured after all these years.
Promises aint mean nothing if cant quit lying.

Im going out of my head the way i think. All the feelings that i get...all the things that go through my head...i need to really start thinking about it...why do i?

Do you know, what they say, about you...stripped of glory and bliss. Old friends come back!

Only when i stop sometimes i know...
Only when you start, then we will know.
Ahh, emo times calls for good songs to accompany...someone by the name Wandi is gonna be otf whole day tomorrow.

I feel shit, so confused about what to do...here i am again...typing this shit on my tiny phone keyboard...can't stop...my mind is racing again...i'm not sure if i can feel right at work.

So here i am holding on to what i can...going to stop here.

Happy morning world! :)

2009-07-05T00:02:00.001+08:00

I love this girl right here. :)

2009-07-02T01:29:00.003+08:00

after much persuasion from a particular minah whom i happen to be in a relationship with, asking me to update this shit...i've finally decided to do it...here it goes..

I, Muhammad Ashraf publicly declare this blog of mine UPDATED!

Don't be emo, hoped you enjoyed reading.

Next update coming soon.

2009-05-31T22:57:00.005+08:00

okok, so paramedic days in school are over!

Its time for my theory exam tomorrow morning at 8am.

Gotta gotta take control...becos after that my 1-year attachment with SCDF begins...

kinda like going holiday or NS i feel.

So anw, last Thursday was my best pal's bdae...

We totally surprised him while he was walking at ECP with his GF.

Of course his GF was the one who planned everything lahh.

Had fun, got to meet my friends who have already started working

But anw, here are the pictures...

19 years old...finally!

My fren punya abang punya anak...

Happy I got to babysit her yo!

It's a girl :)

Ok, this was just yesterday at ECP again...Sunkist Resort...oops, I mean Goldkist Resort...

Alif celebrating his bdae together with his mum, cos it falls on the same day, 5th of May.

I freaking overnighted there man...swam in the private pool at about 2am...in the dark :)

Nasib never kena caught.

2009-04-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

Skali skali I found these 2 antiques in my

Imeem account lahh sehh...these stuff are like nearly 2 years ago...

"Come and go people do but in your head they stay?"

I say yes.

Face Down - Imperfecture

from yesterday - ashashash

Listen at your own risk...these are mp3's created by me and my band that I was with for like 4 years...although we didnt go very far...I learnt lotsa stuff from them...

Cant' find jamming stuff here but more like just our acoustics...

Memories brudder! :)

2009-04-20T22:38:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Hidayah, i got to see some pictures of me when I was still in Nursing uniform...btw, i'm gonna donate my uniform to the school if anyone needs it...HAHAHA!!

Our muker sememek!! (Where's the teeth yo!)

Using magic, I was able to make my teeth disappear...tada!

I find the tattoo on my hand kinda cool, got it removed since then

...because too many people were copying it....memories lahh pantat! :)

And lastly I would like to introduce you to my monkey...designed by Fatin, my monkey's best fren punya fren....we play guitar together. She's cool.

Anw, we have planned that if we ever do open up some studio or music industry shit...it shall be named 'fat brush'

Last but not least, please do tune in to this song me and Fatin covered :)

All About You feat Ash dude N Zara(Mcfly Cover) - Ash dude N Zara

2009-04-11T21:37:00.006+08:00

Memories From ITE Nursing...Nurses Day 2008

This was funny shit. I was supposed to play guitar for the song...but I refused to believe that we were up next soo I went out of the hall to get a breather. Then skali my friend shouted that I WAS up NEXT. So i ran into the hall onto the stage and did my thing(but the singer started without me)...moral of the story...dont go up the stage late. Anw, the singer was none other than my classmate...Sui Sui! :)

Ahh, the guys from Dia...they played their original Awan...by far the solo was the most shred shred of the whole performance obviously..I was jealous of Hafiz's solo at that time...seriously nice song tho..check it out!

This song is seriously epic nyer....i listened to them perform backstage and just got goosebumps...they were hell good, all 3 of them...Syahidah, Siti Hendon and lecturer Mdm Grace Angel.

DANCE DANCE DANCE!

Yeah, we danced...too bad the quality of the video like shit...but its still dance dance dance!

Actually the day started with this song, Phantom Of the Opera...by our band Genocider.

HAHAh, Ashraf nk try solo tak jadi...kental!!!

Anw...I'm gonna start my new course like in 2 days....Paramedic Course 1 1/4 months...wish me luck and if I've the time I'll drop by and say HI!

2009-04-04T19:44:00.002+08:00

Guess what...I freaking found my Batman - Dark Knight DVD!!!

Gonna sooo watch it tonight...

Anw, family got the new movie 'Bedtime Stories' on DVD.

Watching it now...watched it before in cinemas with I forgot who...but it was a good movie.

Anw, to thos of you reading this, hope you're having a good time too.

:) :) :)

2009-04-03T20:24:00.003+08:00

OMG!!!

I'm in love !!!

with 'The Feel Good Drag' by Anberlin...

Thanks to Fatin who made me listen to it...

Anw, hope u have a great time in Bangkok.

Shud jam again once u're back... :)

2009-04-03T16:03:00.007+08:00

THIS IS SO UNHEALTHY(RITE...)

4 days 3 nights.

Saturday Morning

Met up with everyone at Woodlands at 8am

Had breakfast at Larkin.

Entered the coach at 10.30am

OTW to Kuala Lumpur...

5hour coach ride was long..luckily for comfortable seats and pitstops.

Once we arrived in KL that Saturday afternoon, headed to the hotel.

Placed down our stuffs and makan at A&W. LOVE the food there.

Then that night we went to petaling street for our 1st walk around.

Then makan dinner at some hawker centre.

Back to hotel and Watched HBO

That was out 1st night.

2nd day.

Woke up at 11am(I think), everyone got ready for Times Square...

Had breakfast 1st then at Time Square we shopped, makan and of course entered the theme park.

Fucking played the roller coaster 3 freaking times....Anw i felt so quiesy after all that shit, decided to skip makaning the Italian food that the guys savoured.

But seriously the food was good.

Then we went downtown to BB Plaza and shopped.

I bought guitar strap, picks and lotsa blank DVDs to watch shit.

Headed back to the hotel.

Watched HBO

Bought kuachi and drinks.

Learnt how to play blackjack, Taiti and Bluff.

Slept around 4am.

3rd Day...

woke up wasted about 2pm...bathed and makan at Mac nearby then shopped at Petaling street...bought myself some great shit...like a snowcap and shades.

Went to Central Market after that and got a souvenir for a friend back home.

Then that night after that we headed downtown again and shisha-ed.

Went back around 12.45am.

Watched HBO

Slept at ard 3am

4th day

Woke up at 10.30 and got ready to head home.

Left the hotel exactly at 12.

Makan Mac...then me and Saiful decided to give Petaling Street one last shot at shopping.

He bought pants and a smart casual shirt.

Me bought myself a jacket and that same shirt.

Then we lepak-ed at Starbucks from 2.30 all the way to about 5 cos we had already booked out of the hotel.

5,30pm rode up the bus and reached Singapore at 10.30...

Tired but had supper at Kallang...then headed home at 1am.

Conlusion

I must say we smoked shitloads.

HBO was a bitch which showed the mummy repeatedly.

But I did catch Stomp The Yard, not a bad movie...

Someone drank.

I was topless all the way in the hotel. It was very cold but refused to put on a shirt...

Those were the days...enjoy!

2009-03-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was one hell of a day....started out by meeting Farhan at the mosque for Friday prayers....sorry I was late bro! :)

Anw, after that we went to makan for a while before meeting up with Aniza and Saiful up at Changi Airport...Saiful punyer pandai dengan confident dier pegi salah terminal...pantat tol!

yeah, we discussed bout the KL trip for about 1 1/2 hrs at the Mac there...wanted to see someone working there tapi she was off that day I guess.

After that it was around 5pm already...we met up with Ridwan at Bedok at 6pm and then....

HAHHAA, all of a sudden found ourselves at OCH at 8pm...

Have to say Aniza, ure one brave girl...and Saiful as usual, unafraid of anything...Ridwan became like the tourguide. And my duty was to stand at the very back protecting Aniza in fron of me.

Have to say...the place has many incidents, till they locked the main gate. We had to find out way in through the stairs at the side which was now occupied with grass and vegetation.

Climbed all the way up, kinda high, like going up 3 stories.

Found our way onto the back of the SAF Medical Ward..we sat in the middle of the Carpark for 20mins...smoking was like the ritual...and we had this close your eyes and feel around...did that for about 5mins ...then we left the place....

I would say it wasnt too bad.

Anw, after that, we proceeded to Tampines to have out dinner...then chaoz...

Found my way onto bed at 12.20am.

But only slept at 5, kos the 4 hours was spent interacting with a friend.

2009-03-19T22:46:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, makan at Seoul Garden with like the whole attachment mates.

Not bad lahh the food, not exactly very very good tho.

Then malam time 11.30pm Omar called ajak go makan at Simpang Bedok.

His new Mazda ROCKS!

LOVE MAZDA DOK!

Then we all go fish at Changi with Najib kos he ajak-ed us...I caught 2 fish and Najib got a crab.

Then reached home at 6.30am Thursday Morning, slowly open the door, and crept onto bed.

Slept at 7, woke up at 11, and went out to meet my old-time attachment mate at 12.

We freaking went Esplanade and jammed and jammed, lol, we shud do it again yo!

Anw, now Im home at 8, and Najib wanna ask go fish again at ard 12am...how to slip?..hahhaha

2009-03-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

How it ended for me...damn fucking graduated...

Into working silly world.

2009-03-10T12:29:00.001+08:00

TATS IT AH TONITE!

lets go have fun with some people i dont know and some people you dont know...

1 wish though, takmau terserempak sudah...HAHAH!

Gdday silly world! :)

2009-03-08T22:46:00.002+08:00

Fuckity fuck...I miss you!

The way you miss me too...

When the sun rises again...

2009-03-08T13:31:00.003+08:00

Yeah yeah...lets talk about this week....

Had my 2 night shifts, on Wednesday and Thursday evenings...

Went for a beautiful breakfast with a longlost friend on Thursday morning at our favourite spot we used to go.

Came home and slept for 4 hrs, woke up and met up with the guys for Najib's surprise birthday...HAHAH!...we came into his house with a cake, he was topless and shocked...AWESOME!

So anyway yeah, I went for my 2nd night shift after that...which was the best...cos I went in and out of the ward around 2am onwards like nobody's business...

No ghostly encounters if you'd ask me but I'd say it was a rainy day :)

Friday was MY sleeping day, which I took seriously...to SLEEP!

Went for my morning shift on Saturday as usual...as I had a total of 6 days to replace due to MC.

Half of it was for very unnessary reasons...silly me at that time.

During that Saturday morning, I went for an extraordinary 1 1/2 hr hour break which would make my teacher freak if she knew.

Skali kan... Farhan ajak hang kat East Coast lah seyh!

After my shift, I went home and out in 2 hours....spent a night there with Farhan, Saiful, Niza and dearie.

And now its 2pm...I'm tired, hungry and Wandi wanna blanja makan at 6pm...TATS IT AH!

:):):)

2009-03-05T18:53:00.002+08:00

Stage 1. Back here again.

Stage 2. Saw you.

Stage 3. Exercising self-control

Stage 4. Happiness prevails

Stage 5. Let's work it out

Stage 6 ? - Who cares anyway :)

2009-02-23T10:46:00.003+08:00

The whole collection from Simei team.

Repacking the Rice With Fazly

Guess this was like 3 or 4 weeks overdue but I did take part for the National Wide Project Rice this year.

I was placed in charge of Area 8 in Simei.

There were volunteers from all different institutions, JC, Polytechnics and even Universities.

I had 10 volunteers to work with.

So yeah, it was fun working with them.

We covered 10 blocks near Changi General Hospital so yeah, it was not a difficult location as my attachment was very near that place.

We collected like 20 packs of 5kg packs, so much that we had to call the transport at least 3 times to despatch the rice back to the mothership which was ITE College East.

Anw, I had a great time participating in it.

All in the name for Red Cross.

Guess its gonna do wonders as I contributed 4 full weekend shifts towards it.

Thats like 40 hours as we worked 8-6pm everyday.

CIP points up, up and away!

Miss you baby! :)

2009-02-16T17:11:00.000+08:00

FRIEND

2009-02-14T19:51:00.003+08:00

Photograph - Nickelback

Dear God,

Life's quick

Never really dedicated a song before...so here it goes.

Down and out.

What I wanted, ryte?

This is my life...

Thank you.

2009-02-02T10:31:00.002+08:00

Renie, this post I'd dedicate to you...you rock...and good luck with your 1st day in school, I'm sorry, I couldn't teman u nor wake u up....but hey! u know me... take care!

Btw, this is how much you rock!

2009-01-31T13:42:00.002+08:00

Well here is the video of us auditioning for the competition...

We got in too...so yeahh, gd luck to us I guess. :)

2009-01-26T20:42:00.005+08:00

On a beautiful Saturday morning, I woke up at 6.30am.

Reason was I had to be at Kranji MRT station exactly 2 hours later.

Made my way there and met up with everyone.

Took 170 to Woodlands Checkpoint...sapsupsap...we were in Larkin at about 11am.

Due to the CNY thingy, the journey was longer than it could be.

We ate at Larkin till we were happy and satisfied.

Took a cab to JUSCO Tebrau and caught the movie 'Bedtime Story' there at 2.45pm.

Cab again to Kampong Pandan at 5 to eat. I loved shopping there.

Flagged another cab to destination City Square at 7pm.

Caught a malay movie 'Maut' at 8.50pm. Left Johor at 11.15pm...we all took a cab together.

Damn the midnight charge, so expensive. $40

I made it home at 1am.

Watched with the family one of the 2 DVDs I bought, titled 'Pensil' it was one of the bestestest movie I've watched in a while. Touching, but as usual, I couldn't cry.

Spent about $40 Singapore in Malaysia.

Conclusion: I was happiest yesterday as I bought everyone a little something.

Mum - Floral nightwear dress

Hasif - Ben10 DVD

Dad - Pensil DVD

Syafiqah & Aqilah - Almost got something. maybe the foodstuffs I bought for the whole family.

Myself - I had enough of it there.

We hungout again at Pasir Ris Park the next day till 4am and I slept over at Fitri's place. LOL!

2009-01-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

My side project band...didnt have a tripod the other time so we just hung it on the wall. I swear we played much better than what the camera displayed.

Yeah, that was after last Saturday's Red Cross Project Rice thingy...had fun doing it....

Anyway...the reason for this band is that we are actually trying out for this year's ITE College West band competition...soo yup!!!

All the best to us...the song we covered on this jam was 'Run' by Snow Patrol!

Anw, our band name is 'Midsummer Project'.

yeahh.....

2009-01-12T18:11:00.000+08:00

Great Story Doog..

> > There was a little boy
> > visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was
> > given a slingshot to play with
> > out in the woods. He practised in the woods,
> > but he could never hit the
> > target. Getting a little discouraged, he
> > headed back for dinner.
> >
> >
> >
> > As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet
> > duck. Just out of impulse, he let
> > the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the
> > head and killed it. He was
> > shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the
> > dead duck in the wood pile, only to
> > see his sister watching!
> >
> >
> >
> > Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing.
> > After lunch the next day Grandma said, '
> > Fatima,
> > let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima
> > said,
> > 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help
> > in the kitchen.' Then she whispered
> > to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed
> > did the dishes.
> >
> >
> >
> > Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children
> > wanted to go fishing and Grandma
> > said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to
> > help
> > make supper.'
> >
> >
> >
> > Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well,
> > that's all
> > right because Ahmed told me he wanted to
> > help.' She whispered again, 'Remember
> > the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed
> > stayed to help.
> >
> >
> >
> > After several days of Ahmed doing both his
> > chores and Fatima
> > 's, he finally couldn't stand it any
> > longer.
> >
> >
> >
> > He came to Grandma and confessed that he had
> > killed the duck. Grandma
> > knelt down, gave him a hug and said,
> > 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was
> > standing at the window and I saw the whole
> > thing, but because I love you, I
> > forgave you. I was just wondering how long you
> > would let Fatima
> > make a slave of you.'
> >
> >
> >
> > Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
> >
> >
> >
> > Whatever is in your past, whatever you have
> > done... and the devil keeps
> > throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating,
> > debt, fear, bad habits, hatred,
> > anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You
> > need to know that Allah was
> > standing at the window and He saw the whole
> > thing. He has seen your whole life.
> > He wants you to know that He loves you and that
> > you are forgiven.
> >
> >
> >
> > He's just wondering how long you will let
> > the devil make a slave of you.
> >
> >
> >
> > The great thing about Allah is that when you
> > ask for forgiveness, He not only
> > forgives you, but He loves you. It is by
> > Allah's grace and mercy that we are
> > saved.

2008-12-24T16:53:00.002+08:00

Quick to fight

Not easy to get back up

My words falling on deaf ears

Some hopes still stay alive

What will I do tonight?

I keep going on and on

But the wind kept blowing on me (I fell)

I stood right up

To hope a new day would fall

That's when I know my day will shine

What will I do tonight?

Trust, the word I treasure most

But today, I runaway only with faith

I was sorry, but it fell on deaf ears

This time it's all too far gone

What will I do tonight?

2008-12-19T15:26:00.007+08:00

Guess who's back!

Guess who's 19!

Guess who's having fun holidays!

Guess who wakes up after 12pm almost everyday now!

Me luhh!

BTW, my bdae was a great day!

Thanks to the planner for it all, dearly beloved Ashsyakirin.

Went to places I've never been before, all turned out well.

Thanks yo! :D

Oh yeah, below marks the end of our im campus learning and stuff...the Social Nyte 2008 for graduating students...had a blast considering it was only $2 and money was refunded back summore, kong kan?:)

Woah, this pic was like 2 months back, during the Healthy Lifestyle Week, Breathe at the Padang...just thought I'd post a pic of it up here.

And this picture my friend, was the 1st ever picture taken with my digital camera when I bought it way back in February this year.

It's been a wholesome weekend for me and today is just a crashing day.

Gotta get my shit together and takeoff for something new. start something, NOW!

2008-12-19T10:42:00.002+08:00

HELLO. I need a job. Banquet is totally screwed. They ain't calling me for nuts. Shitting cow balls.

2008-11-27T10:21:00.002+08:00

THINGS TO DO:

1. Send my dear Sony Ericsson handphone for reparations.

2. Send Renie's Audio Technica headphones for replacement.

3. Get my Guess Spectacles fixed because it's screwed.

4. Return Syafiqah the $10 I owe her from the last decade.

5. Mug(!) for upcoming exams this December.

6. Update this blog properly.

Until then, miss this Abang Kong! :D

2008-11-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

In addition to yesterday's update.

9. Yesterday, I went to the town area to accompany two ladies in their quest to get hired. Actually, one already has a job but she's just so cerewet and she's just scouting for better options.

Note: GRAMOPHONE IS HIRING!

I've changed my blog skin to something a little less formal. What do you think? :D

Oh well, I've replaced the tag board with something better. This baby won't go "Page cannot be displayed" on you for nuts. So it's all good.

WOOOOOOT!!!

Kay, pictures below. Apparently we were dressed to sit for a NDP Parade. It is, of course, by sheer coincidence.

This picture is what I call, the rabbit vs. the evil toothless grinned albino hare part VI. It was nasteh.

Ever ready to celebrate the nation's big day. With a dash of raunchy Playboy boxers as you can see.

Alright, I'm too tired to blog further so I might as well end my post here. Until then, miss me.

2008-11-17T22:17:00.005+08:00

I got like 1000 requests from fans all over the world asking for an update...so I shall not disappoint those beautiful people out there...I shall post you ppl some awesome-y pictures!!!...

WOOT!!! WOOT!!!!! WOOTTT!!!!

A few things I managed to complete prior to the last update...

1. Finally went jamming with the band...with Huzali as the session drummer
2. Starting to party in school as I'm left with only 2 weeks left.
3. Passed all tests without placing in much effort.
4. Went to Malaysia with Najib and his GF Abby.
5. Nearly completing my Matrix Trilogy
7. Broke my spectacles.
8. Last but not least....Fucking love this girl named...errm...I forgot...no I dont:)

So anw, here are the pictures, I'm not really gonna sort them out...so you figure the shit out:)
lol.

Malaysia Malaysia Malaysia!

Jam Jam Jam!!!

Abang Kong 2nd from left.

Here you have Abang Kong again...

2008-10-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

World; your prayers have finally been answered. This blog has been spring-cleaned and yes, the cobwebs have been cleared. Seems to me, I am updating! This totally calls for a Chicken Dance, yes?

*Proceeds with the ritual*

Firstly, I have to apologise because I've been busy. (Or am I?) School has started and yes, I have 361736715468797 minutes to ace this and hopefully graduate with flying sea monkeys prancing around me as I don the ugly graduating dress thingy that you see in movies. Do we even get to wear that?

Oh well. Pray for me lah you all and maybe I'll treat all of you to Swensens if I graduate. And that's a promise, mind you.

:D

Lately, I've been trying to quit Smoking! Yes! Ashraf is attempting to quit smoking! You know, you really should stop that eyebrow of yours from raising too high up your forehead. Anyway, yes! It has been tough. But I will surviveeeeeee! Kinda realised that it's a damn expensive addiction and I could totally use the money to buy myself a PS3!

Unless of course you people are already planning to get me that this December than I won't mind. Really... :)
Alright, that's about all I have to share with all you sexayye people out there who still frequent my blog. (I still don't know why tho.)

Until then, if you really think that this is freaking Ashraf Omar that's behind the keyboard, then I think you aren't close to the subject enough. Not saying I'm not. I may be, I may be not. It all depends really.

I could be some alien life form resembling Arnold Schwarzenegger orrrrrrr, a totally nice, adorable and funny and cute and the list goes on, person whom Ash himself have given the necessary details to spruce up this mundane blog of his. Or I could just be the plain ol' Ash you know.

:D

2008-09-24T17:16:00.005+08:00

My lepak Life.

Last Friday,
I went to break fast with the school band!!!
We makan at Burger King at Clarque King, then lepak-ed at Esplanade!

On Saturday,
Went out with my attachment mates Rudy and Fatin!.
We jammed at Simei!!! Broke fast at Spize cos I loved the food there.
But since we arrived late, it was tough finding seats.
And our food came like 15mins after AZAN, kos there was like a billion orders.

We Really Got Drunk On Green Tea that Day.

On Sunday,
Lepak-ed with Farhan at my place till around 9. Then we hung out at the park until 10.30pm cos I wanted to watch 'Oprah's Big Give'...lol, like real:)
Then skali Omar called at 11 and ask ajak go Geylang. Roped Najib and his bro Man in, and then we drove off to Geylang.

Headed off to East Coast Park after Geylang, hung out there from 1.30-3am.
Went home, ate like a pig and slept till 'i-dont-know-what-time-the-next-day'.

Monday was the rest day at home

Tuesday,
Met Irwandi at 12.30 at Tamp, we went off to The Cathay and watched a movie there. 'Stepbrothers' was the title and yeah, it deserved its M18 rating cos it really was M18 stuff, not for little boys and girls:)

Then due to some issues, Wandi had to return home after the movie.

Met up with Ridwan at 6 and we headed to my workplace, Banquet Bedok to break fast cos I can get discounts eating there, lol!

Yeah, at 8.30, we met up with one of the attachment mates Fatin, hung out at Tampines MALL, level 3, specifically, Yamaha Music Store, then we sent her home.
Her estate was like some private property with guards outside.
After we went in and saw her off, we lepak-ed at the private playground nearby.
We played guitar and exchanged life stories there.
And we smoked till the day.
Finally went home at 12, and took bus '34' home..

2008-09-15T15:22:00.003+08:00

Break Fast!
Went out with a few buddies to break fast together.
Right after school ended at 12..we met up again at 5.
Went To Spize at River Valley Road.
The food was fabulousO!
But because we were too hungry and busy eating.
We didn't even snap a single picture of whatever we had ordered.

So anyway, went to Lepak at Clarke Quay and then Boat Quay.
We checked out the inverted Bungee thingy going on...
Wow...pretty scary just by looking at it.
Had a stopover at Starbucks cos some people wanted to get their fuel.

OK, the next few moments were spent snapping at least a hundred pictures somewhere at Clarke Quay...By the river.

Yeah, had a blast going out, and did I mention, I didn't overspend this time.:)
Pics below yeah, thanks for checking it out:)
See ya!

2008-09-10T18:13:00.003+08:00

Time For That Yearly Update Maybe!

It's really been a long time since I wrote here.
The 10 weeks I've put aside for attachment was over.
Time was finally on my side again.
Maybe it's time I did something beautiful in my life.

Well, it's okay.
I many have missed a lot of TV and what have you.
Rather I gained a lot of ground for myself.
Being in control.

Meeting new people.
Turning yourself into a friend.
Take a risk.
What have you got to lose.

Ramadan today and about a few weeks to go.
I feel rather lethargic as I sit here typing these few words.
But nothing has ever been worse for me.
It's the colourful beginning of a string I guess.

Well, let's take it away with these few pictures!

Us at the Old Changi Hospital today.
A piece of old heritage and nice ghost-hunting ground I believe.

This guy can really jump, he's my little brother!:)

See that beautiful bright white thing beside me.
He wanted some coke.

New friends met. Rudi, Fatin and that's me Ashraf on the right if you don't know.

Us in train...from City Hall to Home!

She's devilishious?
Nope...she's nice:)

Whatever man, this dude sucks!

2 guys acting all emo just because they were attached to IMH.
It's a fun place to work in I pretty much figure.

Well, if you survived from top till bottom here.
Congratulations!

Now tune in a few weeks later for a new update!(hopefully...)

2008-07-27T16:25:00.001+08:00

hello wello dirty fellow.. hahaha..
I performed for Nurses' day yesterday, using ariff's electric guitar.
Then i went to smoke SHISHA.
Which next, went to lepak at Suntec City.
Skali KHAI cubit my neck..
And when i got home, my dear mom said i have a lovebite when i dont..
Thenthenthen went to tiong bahru, lepak-ed there with my best friend Irwandi until 12midnight.
and by the way, the guitar was DAMNNNN heavy!

so yeah, i will end here.
Got To Go!

Cheers, "Ash"..

2008-05-22T21:33:00.006+08:00

We All Need Some Time On Our Own.

I can't believe the reminiscence.
This was already the 6th week of school, and only 1 to go till it hit holidays again.
Some things you just cannot help but look back and miss those times again and again.
But other things, those bad enough to leave a mark, I shall forget everything.

So anyway, school term this time is like 80% more hectic than before.
Try completing 3 modules in 7 weeks....very stressful!

Yeah, that would explain that look I have on my face on my face.

When you need to de-stress, everyone goes to SENTOSA!!!
All the asss that you need are there.
Sun, Sand and Sea...

That night, we spent a sleepless nite at Bedok Jetty in East Coast Park.
What a Beautiful, Beautiful World You're In!!!
Enjoy it Bebeh!!!

Cheers,
Ash

2008-05-08T20:36:00.002+08:00

Dah lamer jugak ehh tak update...
HAHahahah, malas lahh.

Sick of working...never sick of wanting money
How do i solve that?

Anw, my plan to quit ******* on14th April is clearly a failure.
I learnt so many things during the new school term.

Siddiq nyer bapak nyer studio is really awesome.
Me and a few friends from other classes got together this year.
We plan to perform as a band on Nurse's Day, which is sometime July.
We seriously clocked in some serious miles in terms of effort.
Going to the studio once a week to practice.

The audition is tomorrow at 5pm in school.
We're performing 'Alone' By Warmen
Kinda a lil of metal, but I can handle that.
I'm the lead guitarist, HAH!

Wish me luck!

Omar is one damn crazy driver.
He has just got a car and is driving it like someone would in a game.
He drifts, does burnouts in open carparks!
But it's no cheap thrill...
The fuel cost ran up to $55 for driving us around Singapore for 2 days.
Went studying with Omar and the usual gang at Kallang KFC yesterday.
Left at 12, to transport Wandi back to the West then ourselves in the East.
Najib was on his motorbike the whole time.

Reached home at 1pm and only slept at 2 after having some fun on my brother's PSP.
HAHAHAH, my salary this month was the highest I can recall myself earning.
Gave 1/2 to the family and now still surviving with about 1/2 the remainder left.
Only been a week and soo much is gone....damn!

I'm soooooo getting a new guitar next pay, got to be a Squier Telecaster!
...will update very soon I promise

...Well, maybe:)

2008-04-14T22:17:00.002+08:00

Today was the 1st day of another 365 days of hell to come...
I cane to school, damn the phone rang in the Combined Lecture with 200 students.
Sucks, it got confiscated for 2 hours.
Remember, next time silent mode.

Cis Burger!

Anw, the new schedule really really sucks, starts at 8am everyday, and ends at 5.30 or 6 on every other day and 5pm on Friday.
No more time to fiddle around I guess...
Anw, in this whole 2 year Nursing Course, you'll have 4 phase tests.
I just failed my 3rd one.
Damn, that scenario.

Ohk, met several old friends in school today.
Some were ouhk, others were blah...well, only 1 actually, very proud now.
And we all hate him.
Wait!

I just made another enemy today, well, same person anw.
Just another moment in my life, I LIKE!

Honestly, things are never better for me than now...
You'll know why just very soon enoughh!
Got To Go!

2008-04-08T15:46:00.005+08:00

3 days ago was the Nurses picnic outing...had great fun escaping work...
and and and and and I hate my new hairstyle but wth I dont care.

There was food, shisha, friends, and a damn huge 10-men tent provided by Ashraf.
Thanks dude!
And thanks to Abby too for editing the pics for us.

Not the quantity but quality of friends that matters!

Pics are not fully uploaded yet...
these are some of them

2008-03-25T13:24:00.002+08:00

A sea of chance I see ahead of me.

Anyway, these 3 weeks starting yesterday was my holiday.
I'm gonna make full use of it, such as working everyday to make money.
Then can get married and have children.
Hahaha, macam paham, only 1 person will understand that.

I cycled to work yesterday, from Tampines to Bedok.
Was kinda tiring though, as I slept more than 12 hours today.
It's been so long, since I did that.(Sleeping)
I'll do it again.

At work, I see so many different things.
The people - good or bad or lousy.

Acoustic is tomorrow and I will not miss it this time.
Sorry about last week, I had to cover a colleugue of mine who was sick.
But we say that if its not enough, keep trying rite?

So to round it all up, I'll just say I'm working today.
And to catch a glimpse of me serving people drinks, just come down to Banquet Bedok North, Drinks store!

Aloha! and Now Callo Betty! (Goodbye)

2008-03-25T13:15:00.002+08:00

We have been too close these days.
Seems like I won't survive if not for you.

The times we had were blissfully sweet.
The memories never fade.

But I know, my selfishness will start to consume me.
You have to start to live.

Since the rain, I could not stop thinking about it.
With you it's never good enough.
You don't know what you're striving for.
It's too early.

2008-03-09T13:43:00.003+08:00

What a great way to start my Saturday....
Woke up at 5.45am and took a breath from cigarettes.
With music blasting in my ears, I walked to the bus stop.
My watch showed 6.20am.
The day was still dark.
There were only 3 people at the bus stop.
I sat down and realized how beautiful the day was.

It was especially nice that I felt totally relaxed in the bus.

Strolled into the ward at 6.47, and met up with my friends who were working too.
I thought about how busy my day was going to be.
Whether I would be able to handle the load piled onto me.

I wrote 6.55 in the Student Nurse's logbook and started out for my future job.

Now my watch read 11pm and I realized that it's time to go home.
I had just completed my part-time job.
There had been no long breaks for me today but I still had the energy to move on.
Took the late night bus home.
My feet eventually landed home at about 12.10am Sunday Morning.
With fingers itching to play the guitar, I picked it up and strummed softly.
The music was back in my ears and I silently fell asleep moments later.

2008-02-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

Ive been sooo tired lately....last Wednesday...I went home after my morning shift in the hospital.

I took bus number 293, to my house which is the west loop, then skali tertido sampai gi East loop....best sehh, waste 1 hr 15mins...I want that time back sehh.

Can tidor at home...but now I can't even participate in 12 hour sleeping marathons anymore...just no time.

And today from Bedok, I took a direct hus 69 to my house...tertido again to the interchange...then naik bus 72 balik...gagaga

Penat sehh, oklahh, gtg, i cant spend too much time here anyway.
A better update coming soon!:)

2008-02-22T11:14:00.000+08:00

So are we lost or do we know
which direction we should go?
Sit around and wait for someone to take our hands and lead the way.

Cause everyday we're getting older
and everyday we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so tired of waiting,
waiting for us to
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so sick of waiting,
for us to make a move.

Are we meant to take the pain?
Should we sit around and wait?
Are we being saved or was it another lie you made to make us hate?

Cause everyday we're getting older
and everyday we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so tired of waiting,
waiting for us to
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so sick of waiting,
for us to make a move.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
and we will never lose.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
It's time to make a move.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
and we will never lose.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
It's time to make a move.

It's not enough
to let it rush
wait until
it's over.

We're sick of waiting for our answers.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so tired of waiting,
waiting for us to
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
yeah i'm so sick of waiting,
for us to make a move.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
and we will never lose.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
It's time to make a move.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
and we will never lose.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
So make a move.

2008-02-16T13:03:00.003+08:00

Somebody is gonna be dead.
Somebody has a part-time job now.
Somebody has the greatest shift ever!
Somebody just messed up his electric guitar.
Somebody loves his 'new' acoustic.
Somebody learns the art of acceptance.
Somebody has a song to share.
Somebody is ME.

2008-02-13T18:46:00.002+08:00

We're Brothers Forever
(Damn gelak American Idol Audition Video)

I am your brother,
your best friend forever...
the rest all you figure out yourself alrite:)
cos I am your brother....

2008-02-09T17:09:00.000+08:00

I LOVE THIS SONG 'BURN BURN' BY 'LOSTPROPHETS'!!!!!

Where do I begin, with this life we're living in
Market youth their uniform, make us all fit in
But do you think, that we're that blind?
That we can't see through all your lies?

Cause if it's no good
Burn burn the stations
We'll burn it down
Burn burn the truth
Enjoy the flames
In celebration
Enjoy the sound
For us, for them, for you

I know that I've been told
My intergrity was sold
Price and placed upon the shelf
It's worth it's weight in gold
But do you think we've lost our minds?
Yeah we can see through all your lies?

Burn burn the truth the lies the news
Burn burn the life that you cant choose
Burn burn the hate that gets you through
Burn burn for us, for them, for you

Cause if it's no good
Burn burn the stations
We'll burn it down
Burn burn the truth
Enjoy the flames
In celebration
Enjoy the sound

For us, for them, for you!

2008-02-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hey Ho Let's Go!

Happy new year to those celebrating...
1st time I'm feeling I've got more than 2 days to rest...feels good.
Can finally go for my Friday prayers again after sooo longg.

Btw, this Sunday I'm applying for a job at Banquet...wish me luck pple!!!

And I'll be working in a brand new ward starting this Monday, Ward 49.
I'm finally going to be a nurse as it's not as bad as when I 1st started out.
I thought to myself already, 1 way or another I gotta make it to poly after this Nursing course in ITE.

It's a beautiful night tonight, the time's 10.32pm and I'm listening to Simple Plan' s latest album.
And I'm already feeling so ecstatic about how tomorrow is going to be.
What could possibly happen???
Are there any surprises that is going to make my heart skip a beat?
Or is it going to be something like today where I've spent a total 6hrs on the computer, wasting electricity...wasting myself away...

Waiting for this life to change
Seems like it's taking me forever
This life is breaking into the day
So Shout and scream my friends
Connect with me and we'll pretend
That this night will never end

Take time to contemplate who you are
And where you want to go

Don't just stand still there my friends
Make a plan and pull yourself off the floor

PS: It's times like these, time and time again:)

2008-02-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

Hey girl,

I'm sure you don't know who you are but you've kept me smiling through my darkest times. I could wish for all the best within us but I'm sure it wouldn't go anyway I want it to be. So let me leave it to fate to decide the next action. Yeah, there's not much to say here but just a note of thanks perhaps. And also keep shining. For to the the world, you may just be one person, but to one person, you may be his world.

Ash.

2008-01-29T22:08:00.000+08:00

You wanna know sumting???/
hahaha

Okok....coming home today after work, feeling damn hot HOT HOT in Singapore's weather...I quickly ran to my room, got myself undone...emaing buka baju, seluar, semua lahh, until tinggal a teenie weenie boxers...abeh lepas tu kann...

Baring kat katil , bawah kipas feeling shiok...
Skali my adek Hasif kepoh ni gi unlock pintu masuk pulak....alamak si deni ehh...
Cpt2 lari ambek jacket pakai,....haha, ok itu jerr...

After that I went to tak e aquick 7 min bath and I feel reli cool rite now...no more sticky-ness on my skin yeahh...it was soo hot at work...esp when the ward I work in rite now is not airconditioned...

Can perspire alot...and I mean a lot then after that reli feel warm and sticky...
K, nanti nak g makan, and sleep, byeee!!!

2008-01-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

How do you find my new transport to and from anywhere I go???
:) (:

See, 1 week has passed, damn soo fast....i got homework...ARGHH!!!
I hate assignments....gotta run along thru everything this time....

I feel awesome this morning when I had an 11-hr sleep, power lahh sehh!
I feel no tension now...

So anw, I've been listening to Lostprophet's lately.
I used to shun the band due to its name...
but they're just a band...
and their songs are not religious anyway...so that's alrite.

I find 9 of the total 12 songs in their latest album easy to be my type of sound.
My favourite phrase from the entire album...

Lipgloss Lies, doin the time.
Never gonna miss what I left behind.
If I get the chance I'll do it again.
I wouldn't change it! Change it!
Change It! Change It!

I did some blog reading and this is what I have to say for myself

I seriously need to start something new.
My fuse's been dead for awhile now.
I need to start fighting my everyday riot.
I've played this scene before.
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor.

And to a certain blog I read today

Maybe someday you will grow
Maybe someday you will know
Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

For all these time my friend, you still can't catch tomorrow.

And About The Weekend,

Tomorrow's a new day and yeahh,
Somewhere else will I go
There is still much left undone
Give me something to believe in
Give me someone to believe in
For all these times, and it starts today.

2008-01-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

Today was just another day at work back in the Hospital...it all went pretty fast actually...
I remember saying that last week was a bore when I was still attached to that other health establishment but now it all seems as though last week just flew by...
AndI know that when I start school again next term, I'll say that this attachment just passed by like the breeze.

What to do?
Just enjoy ur days as a student lahh, that's what one of the staff nurses told me.
Yeah, pretty true if you ask me...because the working world out there is not about studying and assignments anymore...
It's about, well basically, boring adult stuff!:)

Honestly, I actually went into Nursing accidentally, and I'm glad I'm not complaining.
And I can actually see myself working as one when I grow old.
This is seriously getting serious! *???*
Hahah, mcm paham!

Being a nurse rite, you actually can help people in a very direct way.
I've always wanted to do some volunteer work in the past but it never happened.
During my sec sch days, I only remember myself doing CIP at the old folks home as the one time I did volunteer work, or maybe flag day?
Hahaha, that was lame I tell you...
my donation tin only had not more than $2 inside...cos I wasn't serious.

I just don't have the right connections.

So anyway, I have made a masterplan for myself...get a GPA of more than 3.5 for my academics at ITE and skip to Year 2 in NYP and continue the Nursing Course.

Well, wanna know something else...while walking home today...passing by the playground...I saw a kid about the age of 5 running around like a monkey.
I tried so hard to look at the kid from a distance cos he is so damn familiar...
Then OMG, I realized it was my adik Hasif lah sehh!

Itulah akibatnya Ashraf taknak pakai cermin mata kan...
Maklumlah, dier kan nak step handsome...HAHAH
I'm seriously considering contact lenses now...

Ends here for now:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

2008-01-20T16:03:00.000+08:00

Several Things happened this weekend...
Well, not too many but I feel as though I did something.

I redesigned my room...
- Brought a comfy 2-seater couch in...
- Purchased a 2.1 Creative Speaker for my music needs.
- Made a tiny space for my amplifier, Acoustic and Electric guitar.
- Found a hiding place in my room for my......;)

It all looks and sounds good to me!

(Also)
Took down the curtain so that I can soak up all the sun the whole day.
Did housework on Saturday night when there was no one home.
(Mostly sweeping the house and washing plates)

So good that I slept for a whole 11 hours and had a weird dream which made me a little worried when I woke up but nahh...just a dream.
I dreamt that I did not turn up for work for 2 days and did not call up my teacher, made me feel very irresponsible but luckily rite...it's just another dream we all have once in a while.

Oh yeah, I also reformatted my computer on Sunday, took me about 2 hours but it's worth it, now the computer's running like a turbocharged horse.
Now just updating this blog of mine which I must admit, is in need of tags...AHAHA!

I've got an upcoming mission you know..come this Wednesday, it'll be a month since something happened and my mission is to go to a certain wall and erase several history writings that are on it.
I know you guys won't get it but it's only for me to understand.
I can write whatever I want while some people don't realize they're limited to write only somethings...HAHAHA to you.

All the best to you guys in the upcoming week, work, school..wadeva lah ehh...
And yeah, something happened lately too....funny lahh!!!

2008-01-15T18:38:00.000+08:00

Being posted to Sunlove Rehab Social Daycare for 1 week this time.
The place is filled with the elderly suffering from mobility problems
Due to strokes, falls, abuse, and old age.
Singapore is really facing an ageing population problem.
We really just need (to make)more babies.

So anyway, the place is not as boring as you would think it is.
The people there are all just plain cute.
Some so bubbly and willing to persevere.
Which is something some of us need ourselves.

So anyway, I'll let you in on a conversation I had with a 78 yr old lady called Mdm Tan.

Me:Hello Auntie..your name is?...*all the usual introduction*

*About 10 mins later...*

Mdm Tan: Everyday go home read newspaper, watch TV, eat sleep..boring lahh
Me: Wah relli ah? So shiok lehh, relax everyday..
Mdm Tan: I not married...alone at home only.
Me : *Thinking for awhile cos I used to think all old folks are married.*
Mdm Tan: You got girlfriend or not?
Me: Haiya!, don't have HAHAHA...u become my girlfriend lah?
Mdm Tan: Cannot! I old already...You go join choir at CC there lahh, got alot of girls. Can pick 1!

Me just went HAHAHA all the way after that. She was really nice.
I never had a chance to really speak to my own grandparents before so I wouldn't know how it feels.

Yeahh, anw, I really enjoy being posted there..and there is also this Apek, who in my opinion is a decisive-kinda person.
We played chess 5 times together today.
He trashed me the 1st 3 times, I conquered on the 4th and he hantam me again on my 5th try.
I gave up after that...
Since Monday I realized he liked playing chess...and MAHJONG!
HAHAHA!

This place is at Hougang polyclinic anyway and I have to be there at 8am everyday and usually dismissed from my duties at around 3.30pm.
Anyway, I just found a new hobby in the bus.
Sleep with the mp3 plugged into my ears!

Songs I Consider Killer By 30 Seconds To Mars
-Attack
-A Beautiful Lie
-The Kill
-The Fantasy
-Savior
-From Yesterday

These are the songs I'll take with me everywhere.
Callo Betti!

2008-01-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

Last call now I'm outta time
And I don't got no valentine
Singled out, now I stand alone
The underdog in a modern world
Suburbia is hot tonight
But nothing seems to feel alright
I don't want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that's what they say to me

Hey ho let's go
I'm gonna start a riot
You don't wanna fight it
One two fuck you
Don't tell me what to do
I don't wanna be like you
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm my own worst enemy
Knock me down I'll keep on moving
It's the art of losing

Fit the mold and do what you're told
Get a job and start growing old
9 to 5 can make your dreams come true
But I don't wanna be like you
I'm not cool and I'll never be
I break the rules and I guarantee
I don't want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that's what they say to me

You call me a loser
Say I'm just a user
But I'll just keep on moving
Cause that's the art of losing

Hey ho let's go
I'm gonna start a riot
You don't wanna fight it
One two fuck you
Don't tell me what to do
I don't wanna be like you
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm my own worst enemy
Knock me down I'll keep on moving
Cos it's the art of losing...

Whatever needs to happen will happen now...

2008-01-08T11:18:00.000+08:00

Last night while sleeping, I did so many things, I remembered sneaking friends into my house in the middle of the night..and several other really crazy stuff happened.

Then at 8.13am, I woke up and realized it was a dream...went back to sleep again,
At exactly 10.50am, I woke up to a phone call.
The funny thing was I did not feel like I was asleep for another 2 hours or so.
Instead it felt like only a few minutes passed by.
And I had a little sense that something in my room was watching me.

So anyway at 11.27am, I'm eating my breakfast right now and I've got to bath real soon as work's starting at 1pm...and the suckiest part is it's raining...
GTG!

2008-01-06T13:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday...
Met up at 9am with Irwandi.
Went To Chai Chee SATA for our 2nd Dose of Hep B Vaccination.
We lost a lot of time due to the long queue at SATA, (one of the staff there told us there was a lot of ITE students that day)
True enough, I met with 2 of my friends there.
Anyway, we finally got our jab done at around 11.30 and went to TAMP INT to meet up with Ridwan and Najib to go Changi Beach.

FISHING TRIP!!!!
Met up with them and took a bus there.
Looked around Changi fishing gear shops and bought some food to take to the beach.
Nasi Ayam Penyet has the BEST SAMBAL, I ate it twice yesterday.
Anyway down at the beach, we set-up to fish but unfortunately, no fishes came to bite our 'prawn and worm' bait.
Yeah, we used worm but none of the guys dared to touch it, Wandi did but ended up squeeling like a girl. - AHHAHAHA
It did rain lightly several times but we still continued to fish.

NO FISHES?
I think the fishes are all at Sentosa still partying the NEW YEAR.
Or maybe yesterday was just the wrong day to fish.
So anyway, we packed up around 8pm and went to Changi Village to eat the same dish we had earlier.
Everyone bought the same food, must be good then...but the price - $4 per plate.
A little steep I guess.

Goin Home.
Me and Wandi seperated from Najib and Ridwan around 9.30 cos the both of them lived in Bedok.
Me and Wandi went wait for bus 19.
Wandi mistook the last bus for 2210 when it was actually 2010.
We ended up waiting 45mins for a roosted to lay and egg.
Ran to another busstop and waited another 15 mins for service number 29.
We finally boarded the bus at 10.45, 1 hr15mins AFTER WE SEPERATED WITH THE OTHER GUYS....Damn
Finally at Tamp Int, I waved goodbye to Wandi and boarded 293...arrived home at 11.45pm.
Damn, I hate days where I spend more than 12hrs away from home...just makes me feel I went overboard.

Today...
Slept at 1.10am, and woke up at 12pm - AHAHAHA
Anyway, tomorrow is the start of another 2 months of attachment in Changi General Hospital...makes me go WOOOHOOOHOOO and Haiz....

So anyway, thanks for reading and goodbye!:):):):):):)

2008-01-02T13:30:00.000+08:00

Something very funny happened today...

THE WAIT

I stayed up thru the whole night listening to Munajat Cinta and drank coffee to keep myself awake because I knew if I slept, I would not be able to wake up at 5 to send my sister off into the schoolbus...

Anyway, the funny part is when we went down at 6am waiting for the bus, we waited, and waited.
More students came down later to join us in THE WAIT.
My mum came down at around 6.45 to check why I haven't been back yet...
Then all of us realized that the schoolbus has not came to our pickup point.
Several parents called up the company and then we came to know that the bus driver 'forgot' about our pickup point*...lame excuse...*

Then, I heard several parents arguing with the bus company on their mobile.
They came to a resolution that there will be a seperate bus zooming down to fetch the students up.
Waited again another 10 mins, until some 3 parents could not take it, they offered to drive all the students to school themselves.
When they drove off, the bus came, and luckily one of the parents spotted the bus and called all the other parents back.
All this while, the only thing I did was stare at all of them, HAHAHA, I was useless!:)
It sounds as though the simplest thing I could do was send my sister to school myself instead rite?
But unfortunately her school has shifted to somewhere in Simei which I'm not too familiar with...

I spent a total 1 hr in THE WAIT.

Haha, ok.
Anyway, I wana tell all u guys that when you think all is lost, there will always be this angel which will bring u up again.
I want to make everything right with this angel...not to re-do the mistakes I've come to habit with.
Turn it into something good this time...

Anyway. the band is having an acoustic session tonight and yeahh, I'll be there after not seeing them for nearly 3 weeks, I kinda miss the band...haha...oritey...GTG NOW.bye!

2007-12-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

MY 11 DAYS IN INDONESIA

Apa khabar mas dan mbaks!
I was in Indonesia for 11days, spent 4 days in Chipanas, 3 in Bandung and another 4 in Jakarta.

We took a night flight....and landed around 11.30 local time.
Right after we landed in Jakarta, we drove a straight 2hrs to Chipanas.

Chipanas
Stayed in a cottage for the 3 days...very cold cold place.
So cold that although the place we stayed in didn't have any fan or air-con. we still had to put on our sweaters indoors...
Visited a drive-in Zoo, pretty awesome...except for the part where you had to keep the windows closed when you're in the 'Lions and Tigers' section...kindoff a scary...

BANDUNG
After the 4 days, we took a coach to BANDUNG, where unfortunately you could not find any Bandung drink....weird, where did that drink get its name from then??
Stayed in this really cool and huge hotel suite which was so soo cosy:)
We visited this old Volcano, which was like 1800m above sea level, relli damn cold place again.
Damn misty too, you could barely see 50m ahead....

TO JAKARTA
Took a local train to Jakarta...those trains went *chutchut*....cool rite?:)
I expected lots of bumps on the train but nahh, it was sooo comfortable....AAHAHAHA
Jakarta has the coolest theme park, wayy wayy better than ours....hahah, relli shud go back there one day!

HOME
I remember I arrived home on Sunday Morning, 3.36am...haha
Slept about and hour later and woke up at 3 in the afternoon...yeahh

There were quite a few1st's on this trip....like
1st Dunkin Donut I ever ate
1st Locomotive Ride ever
1st Airplane Flight
1st A&W Expericence...
1st Cable Car Ride..
That's all true yeah...ahhaha

Anw, the food there was really really reasonably priced I think:)
Well, to be honest, everything was really cheap there....
Cos I'm a cheapskate...HAH!

OKlah, I'm outta here,
Wish you all a really great year ahead ok!
HAPPY 2008!

2007-12-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

Officially, it's less than 24hrs till liftoff to another man's land...but I'm not here for this.
Instead, I came here to rant on my own personal life, or rather my past personal life.

Looking back, I saw a familiar face of that fool.
Nobody has the slightest idea but it still haunts me everyday.
I placed too much hope onto the biggest lie in my life.
Now it's time to forget the past and wash away what happened last.

It's just a game.

2007-12-15T13:25:00.000+08:00

Rule of Thumb, enjoy the holidays before they are over.

Yeah, another term has ended for most of us and it's time for the holidays.
It has already been more than a week since mine started and I swear I love waking up late.
Anw here are 'The Happenings...'

Escape Theme Park?
Went there yesterday for my very 1st time with a group of friends and yeah...I felt dizzy on the way home...but it was damn shiok lahh...saw a few friends working there...and I love the damn Go Karts....WOOOOO!!!

In Plaza Singapura Lift last Sunday, nothing else to do rite?
Take picture lahh.

This was when we got really really tired...
Made a small stop at Suntec Convention Hall to catch our breaths...

I don't know why I'm posting this but it feels like a kinda cool picture to me....Najib almost making his way into the camera...I think.

One small favour...if you are reading this and I mean you, pls smile:)
Oritey...cya in 2 weeks!!

2007-12-01T22:13:00.000+08:00

TIME TO UPDATE!!!

Nursing Students:
Check out me and my peeps work of art in the school toilet...heheh
Now u guys should know why there's no more toilet paper:)

This was during our CMS lesson, we had to build a self-supporting structure using a whole packet of straws...believe it that thing was taller than me, maybe at around 185cm high.

My Friday...
believe it or not, ITE HAS detention, but for nursing students, you had to spend 2hrs cleaning up the labs.(wiping, sweeping, mopping)
Somehow I felt as though I was going through NS.

Then we hit the National Library to study, and the only time we took pictures was in the lift.
Going down from level 14 to level 1 really got the adrenaline pumping.
Of course a journey to Bugis wouldn't be complete without a meal from that 2-storey Chinese Coffeeshop. I had my new favourite...fried-fish soup with Rice.

Saturday was spent at home, a well-needed rest..waking up at 11am to the sounds of my siblings shouting...hahah.
Anw, I think I want a new handphone from 02, the type which is a PDA, with a sliding keyboard.
Yeahh...gta go sleep now, cos I'll be having a long long day tomorrow studying for the coming exams.

2007-11-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

Let's just keep this part short. Even if you're willing to let me, I wont. Because you can consider me an enemy now. I know, I know, I have been the one at fault, but please stop waiting for my arrival, I'm never walking that way again. I sincerely hope you two last a lifetime. For the years we've been together, thanks, but I'm going my own way now.

Sundae-y

Went out with my classmates...hung out hung out.
Wandi was like 2 hrs late *damn him* and while waiting for em...
Went around Tampines Central...with my 2 buddies who are both from Bedok, which made me feel like a tourist guide.

And when he finally arrived at 4pm, we took a bus and headed towards the Northern-East part of Singapore.
Had a hearty meal at Banquet...and then off to Bedok. It was the last night of the Pasar Malam there and I went hunting for bargains, but the only chants I heard was 'Darlie Toothpaste, $1 only, cheap cheap!'...
WTH?...I can get that at Sheng Siong, maybe at an even better price...
Along to Sheng Siong I went to confirm it but ended up buying a whole pack of seaweeds.(They're nice to eat with soups)

Went home after the whole thing and yeahh, was relli tired but I still had to touch-up abit on my project and ended up sleeping around 1am.

Monday

Woke up at 6am, bathed and got ready for school like a girl.
My playlist in the bus now is mainly loads of Sugarcult, Weezer and Paramore.
The playlist was last heard around 3 months ago.
Made it to school at 7.45.
Homerun was at 6pm.
Did some blogging and now I'm off to study for the upcoming exams.

2007-11-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

As I lay staring into nothing...I can't keep my mind off the situation.
You know...I didn't mean to severe any ties that I had with anyone.
Or the ties that anyone had.

I didn't lose anybody, they lost me.
And I swear to you, things will never be the same again.
I won't look at the both of you the same way ever again.
It's time to just let it all go.

I swear I don't know what to feel right now.
Whether to laugh, cry, or just switch off.

To Him....I'm perfectly fine and shit that we're not talking.
Guess who's got nothing left to lose...
Keep doing the same shit if we bump in school.
I'll ignore you, and I expect you to do the same thing.
You try talking to me, I'll brush you off.
Irritate me, I'll fuck u up and bring you down in a minute.
Forget bout the trust and shit, I don't need you anymore.

To Her, you meant nothing to me.
I'm better off without you now.
And I hope that you got what you wanted.
Thanks for nothing.

I got a whole bunch of better friends now.

2007-11-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

I've had some time on my own and I've been thinking how much hassle I've been to too many people these days...I've got some good advice from my mom lately..
I regretted most of the things I've done these past 2 months. It's affected me physically, mentally, emotionally as well as the things around me, my family, friends and studies.

To Farhan Tre, Farhan S, Ariff, Syira, HER and everybody else that I've hurt, I'm not just asking for your forgiveness now, I'm hoping you would give me a chance to start over.

My mom adviced me to give up some things in life if it affects everything u have right now.
I'm tried to give HER up, but i'm addicted.
We're both obviously not the same. I thought it was fun to fight once in a while, but every single time we meet, there's bound to be a fight. And it's not fun to fight anymore.
I just wanna apologize to her but seems like we're playing cat and mouse with ourselves.
She's going to be my sacrifice...funny thing is I know I'm gonna run back to her one day.
I don't wanna be more than friends with you. This is enough. And I don't love you like I used too. I'm setting you free to where you belong, forget about me. Please..

To my best friends who are the band, I just want you to know that what I'm going to do is just forget about the whole unhappy incident.
I hope you all too are like me, trying to forgive and forget.
It's part of what we all have to go through in life, and instead of losing over the situation, I'm gonna try my best to triumph and be a victor...
Let's get back to where we were when we were happy as a band, the last time I can remember us happy was when Huda joined us for a jam session.

We can't have it our way sometimes...
A blast from the past has been contacting me lately and we're gonna meet sometime in December during our holidays...I want that to be my escape.

2007-11-02T16:56:00.000+08:00

To You From Me

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

Those pictures we took together,
All the time we spend with each other
The effort we made to meet for just a day
There's nothing more I can say
That all we felt was real.

The 1st time we met
We saw an Airplane
The last time yet
Was the Sunset

Would Love To Know You (All Over Again)
And Then Go Do It (All Over Again)

I Fallen For You. You.

2007-10-10T03:09:00.000+08:00

Fuck, the previous post was absolutely necessary...anyway this is the video we took yesterday.

Sorry about me being bad at the start.

2007-10-10T01:34:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna let you know some of the feelings I've been keeping inside for a while now...

Recently, more like yesterday, my band had an acoustic session that had been planned for. I called them up to push forward the meeting time from 3 to 2.30pm and got a few mixed responses.

Anyway, I remembered the moment when Ariff gave me a call at about 2.40 and when he asked where I was, I was like 'oh shit' cos I was still at home with a friend which caused me to to be late...I lied to him that I was at the busstop on my way there.

Next when I was already at the meeting place, I saw Farhan Tre. He greeted me so warmly like he has always did and I remembered in my mind I was thinking 'What the fuck am I doing here?' I'll tell you why I am thinking that way a little bit later...

Anyway a few moments later we met up with Ariff and I could sense from his facial expressions that he was feeling 'angry but was not showing it'...cos it was already 3 when I met him!

When I arrived, I just felt like 'not myself once again'...picked up Ariff's guitar
and played on it till I guess he was pissed cos I wasn't even interested in talking to anybody.

Waited for our other 2 members to arrive and then 'we' officially started our acoustic...I said 'we' because I knew that I wasn't even interested in participating at that moment.

I also wanted to go off early from acoustic because 'I needed to go to Geylang to buy Hari Raya stuff'...when I was actually going off to meet a someone.

A someone that I haven't told anybody about...it's like a secret person only I know about, I shan't reveal the identity becos...
'Someone' and me has been meeting up pretty often for the past 2 weeks and doing things I strongly agree we shouldn't have done at all.

Heck not even any of my best friends know about 'someone'. I feel like I haven't been true to myself and everyone anymore...because this is not what I want....I feel the small gap between me and my best friends getting even larger. Just hope that the gap disappears soon and things would be the way it was a few months back.

Usually I feel that I'm strong enough to say 'NO' to a puff but lately things have been different. It's not that I'm 'coward, a gay' or something. It's just that my principle has been pretty fucked up lately, and that's just not me...

Returning home only after 12 almost everyday, it feels so different right now and it's not the life I want...I don't feel me anymore.

I've had a strong urge to read Tre's previous posts like from 9, 10, 11, 12 months ago...and I realized that my name used to be mentioned like 'most of the time' yet lately I have been treating him like I don't even know him. And just now when I read his post on the 22nd of January 2007, I suddenly remembered how things were. It read about how he was the happiest man on the top of the world when he met Sabariah and they were officially couples on the 10th January 2007.

I remembered how he wanted me to advice him on whether he should or should not ask Sabariah to be his gf like 10 months ago...

Well coincidentally today's the 10th October 2007, and it's been 9 months since Farhan and Sabariah went steady. HAPPY 9 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY U GUYS!:)
I know that things might not be the same with you guys as it was before but as your best friend, I'll give you another piece of advice, 'Fix the things that have been going wrong and ask yourself what you really want'.

I wanna go out like how the 3 of us used to a few months back and feel jealous when I see how strong and happy you guys were. It would be 4 people if Ariff occasionally joins us.

Anyway, my advice has always been on the neutral so it's really up to you what you would like to do. For better or for worse, I just hope that you did it for the right reason.

Right now I'm listening to 'Hotel California' acoustic version from Ariff's blog, and other slow songs on my playlist and it just makes me feel more guilty than ever.

I'm sorry that I have been lying and 'acting like somebody else' lately.
You'd believe I have been a true asshole if you knew exactly the things I have been up to lately.

I'm also sorry to Ariff for all the bad parts of me you had to see.
My biggest apology is definitely going to Tre for all the things we have been going through...I know I might not be the best friend right now or ever, but I want you to know that the smallest things you do for me just touches my heart. One example of the smallest things is when he types my name in his blog post, it's Ashraf and not ashraf...see that capital 'A'?

Right now I've been advised by my brain to fix myself instead of blabbering on pretending to be Mr Correct.

I'm just so disappointed in myself right now...I don't think I even deserve to be in the band anymore...I feel like I should either rightfully leave or get booted out for my assholishness. Whatever it is...Im looking back right now with a smile but when I turn to the front, I see 2 paths, 'the get back to who you are' and the path of uncertainty a.k.a Take A Risk path.

The phrase 'Be Different' isn't really working out for me right now...
I think I need a huge break from my past and current life right now...I realized I dont want it all anymore...

Currently I do have a few good things in my life right now but I do not want them to be just temporary. I know the only way to solve this is to take a step back from all of this and picture how lucky I actually am.

Fuck it hurts when I realized I've been doing the wrong things I shouldn't have done to someone if they ever found out.

I just hope I'm not drifting to nowhere-ness and end up getting lost.
Soneone's got his priorities fucked up!

2007-10-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

Just thought I'd upload something onto Youtube today...the video of our band taking part in the UAB Air-Band Contest.

Still cracks me up when I watch Tre drop one of his drumsticks during the air-guitar solo....so CLASSIC of him.

Btw, check out his latest blog post after reading mine.

2007-10-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

Just thought I'd make a short post before I leave the house tonight.

We have found a new vocalist for the band, and it's a she...All band members were reminded by others that there will be no BGR in the band....straight or gay-wise....either way NO!

Anyway, her name's Syahirah but she prefers being called Syira...
She has joined us for 1 acoustic and 1 jam so far...and I'm pretty impressed with her band spirit...she has proven herself interested in the band and has already suggested that we have more songs in our current setlist...

Anyways, tomorrow's music night:)
Be there.

2007-09-28T17:04:00.000+08:00

On the 27th September 2007 was Fazlyna's bday, we(NURSING STUDENTS) went out to break our fast at LJS in the Singapore Post Building in Paya Lebar and surprised her with a cake and many many other stuffs.
I realized girls like to take many pictures:)
Nadia was the in charge of the camera.

Alrite, I'll break to you the characters...
In the black top is Lily.
Wahida is using a brown one.
Huda is in white.
Nadia, the only one with a scarf
Another Nadiah in pink top.(with her bf)
And you need no clue figuring out the bday gal.
Oh yeah, the only other guy besides me is Najip:)
Feast your EYES!

So tall yet I sat on a tall chair.

Baby face kappe Najip

Lily cute siak!

Outtside City Plaza

This is Nadiah...and her bf Ali.

3 guys, 4 drinks, see?

The poster of the guy on the
glass looked almost life-like.

I dunno what I was doing.

The ladies, wait where Nadiah?

Cool!

Wahlau, kiss sia!

I'm hungry again!

Ladies again:)

Me and Nadia Zahra...yup.

2007-09-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

wow, woW, and WOW!

This guy justs rocks beyond rock-enition MAN!!!

2007-09-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

Divx Stage6 rOCKS!

http://stage6.divx.com/user/ashraf89

Alrite guys I want you to check this out...I posted several of our new band videos in that fairly-new video sharing website (Divx Stage6) there, cos it has 1 advantage over Youtube...its QUALITY!

Just plain awesome...the video is nearly high definition, and the sound way clearer so you can enjoy it at its best...so when requested before viewing the videos to install the Divx Web Player...make sure you do and I guarantee you'll witness the amazing difference compared to our other videos on Youtube.

Best of all, you could download the videos to your computer in its original-quality so that you can watch it any time you desire!

Have fun watching!
http://stage6.divx.com/user/ashraf89

2007-09-12T02:38:00.000+08:00

The Anti-BGR Cure

Hey hello, I have a few words I learnt recently...on why a friend may be afraid to commit to a relationship....

i think its mostly because he/she is the type who expects the relationship to be a serious one....I just realized that I'm not like that...

Most of us will probably only marry in like 6-8years time...so have fun and don't be too serious...after a break-up, look back and instead of missing your ex...look back and say 'that was fun'...I'll prolly be bestfriends with all my ex-s..HAHAHA!

Moral of the story, don't be too serious...It might just kill you deep inside...
As for now, I'm engaging in really long and fun talks with this girl I got to know from my hospital attachment...talking bullshit nearly every night like I always do every single moment in my life.

2007-09-08T13:25:00.000+08:00

Our 2 covers of yesterday's jam...our new vocalist did join us yesterday and she was actually the person who helped us take those 2 videos down there...Check em' out!

She didn't really sing yesterday and we're totally cool with that, it takes time, and no rush yeahh....:)

Face Down

Sugar We're Going Down

Now, how bout some freaking comments?
hahaH

2007-09-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

Alrite, just a small update today...finally our video is up...
Link is here

We didn't win, but I kinda feel good seeing us up there....
Acoustic tomorrow, we're gonna have someone new joining us, so yeahh..

2007-08-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah, now I remembered what I wanted to say from my previous post....the people from www.uab.com.sg

The competition we took part in, mixed up our video with another band, and the problem now is that band has 2 videos and we have none, wanna contact them to tell them the stuff gone wrong but too bad, their web is like not working or something, bummer!

Nvm tho...

2007-08-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is already the 1st of September, and another weekend is here, everytime I think about it, I get very happy but then the next thing I know, I'm already in the hospital the coming Monday beginning work...

Time flies...that's what I feel, today you're 18, next time you really think about it, you're already 25...I remember the time we graduated was like last year November of something, 10 months have already passed...maybe more?

So what have I actually done this week?

Saw more student nurses than ever before in 1 ward.(like ard 20)
Got this girl's number and Msn Id, she wrote it on a piece of paper, and I lost it....
She a nurse too, from Ngee Ann Poly...

Anyway, I realized now that girls with short hair are quite cute too, provided it's tied up the rocker-chick way!
I found our band a vocalist today....
Actually its more like I asked her 2 days ago, and she said yes today...

Went back to school today, as in Junyuan Secondary, rushed like mad from the hospital as we were dismissed early today, at 10.30am.
In the midst of the rush, I took the wrong feeder service '291' from the interchange, I accidentally took the one which went to street 33.
That whole incident left me arriving in school in sweat...

Anyway before that, my friends at hospital surprised my teacher with a truffle cake, which I did not even contribute a cent to cos I forgot to bring cash, and while we were at the mosque just now, Ariff treated me to a meal, thanks man, I'll blanja you back one day:)

I really forgot what more I wanted to say...but just keep in mind that the Gibson Firebird is one sexy guitar!

2007-08-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

Here's my 2 weeks later update....or was it 3?
I can't recall anyways...

This update is going to be all-about the band jam we had yesterday...
the fun-est jam we've ever had in our life...

Firstly I'd like to brag about the band members.

1. OK, get this, Farhan's Tre drumming is now like a super-pro drummer...to my ears at least...he's getting good! Keep working on it man!
2. Farhan S is a potential vocalist and his guitar skills are still hard for me to beat:)
3. Ariff's constantly improving with every band-jam...what can I say?
He's the chords-king!
4. I just find this band getting better everytime.

We rented 3 pedals yesterday and I must that it really paid off in the end...took about 10-15 mins to set-up which included a very thorough sound-check.
I must say every song we played yesterday sounded as though everybody was in the right key...No tuning problems at last.

Oh yeah, about 30 mins into our jam, came some people from an organization which was holding an air-band competition...The conditions were if we took part...

1. They'll have a video of us performing a song air-wise(imagine the exposure)...
2. We'll get paid for 1 hr of jamming(trip to Burger King afterwards)...
3. A shot at winning $2000 in the finals(Ka-ching!).

Which part of those 3 sounded like the band was going to have anything to lose?
It was all in it for us. And yeah we took part!

Check our video out at www.uab.com.sg and make sure to vote for it yeah?:)
The video is still not being uploaded yet at the time this is being written, so remember to frequently check back!

Here's 2 videos of us jamming yesterday...

Stand By Me

Your Guardian Angel

Check for the other videos directly at http://www.youtube.com/ashonthenet

The Pictures Are Up!

What's that bag doing there?

Tre might fall if I had chose to push him.
The bag is still there again.

I shall never do that pose ever again!
Makes me look like a g*y...

Ariff doing that face again..
Farhan's guitar is his gun.

There was honestly nothing there...
We were just doing it for this pose:)

Farhan and his gf Sabariah...

They're Cam-whoring again!

The rocker-girl in our band...

Alrite, that's about it for this update, hope u had a fun time reading!

2007-08-07T01:59:00.000+08:00

My face on Baybeats.com.sg!!!
WOOOHOOOHOOO!!!

Thanks to Farhan S and Ain for making me realize this...cos I didn't search hard enough...

1st Pic - You can find Farhan S, and me in blue way up there.(2nd Day)
2nd Pic - Me On the right...Tre and Sabariah were actually right beside me.(3rd Day)
3rd Pic - Ain and Diyana when the went on the 1st day.

Feel so motivated to work later!

2007-08-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

Sunday has passed....and I'm only here to say this....this week could not have rocked any better...the WHOLE WEEK!

My 1-week Polyclinic posting just ended.
Got to know this girl fairly well, and yeahh..Baybeats!

Went to BayBeats twice, Saturday and Sunday....
The crowd on Saturday rocked 2000 times better than Sunday's...
Too bad I didn't bring alsong my camera on that day, so mostly those are Sunday's pic of BayBeats.

Made friends with this girl named Cassandra and we were shouting really crazy all the way at the front! We Rocked!
She was Malay though...maybe I got her name wrong!
Should have asked for a pic with her...

Anyway, during Baybeats, I also got several stuff thrown form the performers, from picks, badges to stickers...I'm happy!
Those picks were given to me by Shahril and Faiza cos I was too blind to catch one during the throw...thanks guys.

Well, what are yo waiting for...go view those pics!

2007-07-31T20:54:00.000+08:00

Major occurences these 3 weeks...

Clinical Attachement Started
Band Jam
Performed On Nurses Day
Joined Red Cross Volunteered
Donated Blood In The Blood Donation Drive At School
Made A Bunch Of New Friends

Pics To Prove It, hehe!

2 Music Albums I can't live home without right now...'Riot' By 'Paramore' and 'Don't You Fake It' By 'The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus'.

2007-07-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

Discovered today that my video of 'in fate's hands' has been found under...

Pretty cool I guess:)

2007-07-15T14:09:00.000+08:00

This could be the last possible time for me to enjoy as tomorrow's the day where it all begins again....Time to GET REAL!

Well buddies, guess who's gonna get busier from now on:)

I'm actually trying very hard to be myself but people constantly change and they forget who they actually were...Why am I even ranting about that again?

I think I have to learn and forget everything...I'll learn to learn again...

Going out later, to meet my old friend...will get some pics up to brighten this already oh-so-dark blog-of-mine...

Wish me luck for my clinical tomorrow.
We'll keep in contact buddies.

2007-07-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

I realized today that I've never said 'GOOD MORNING' to either of my best friends before EVER!

So tomorrow, I'll start the day by waking up early at 7am and send them both an SMS greeting.

GOOD MORNING!

Never really mentioned how much I treasured those 2 peeps of mine...yesterday I met up with one of them and had a really good long chat...very relaxing to get away for a while..

So back to the topic about tomorrow morning's greeting, I just hope they don't think I've gone crazy:)

2007-07-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

Today I woke up at around 1.10pm inspired to play guitar.
Slept at around 6am anyway...

Woke up and since the whole family was away to Malaysia, I figured it was the perfect timing to really turn up the guitar volume and jam by myself...

After turning on the amplifier, I picked up a pick and hung the guitar around myself...
Unfortunately, one of the guitar straps came off as and the guitar dropped onto my right toe....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH...I FUCKING RAN TO THE TOILET SHOUTING, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUC!
FUCKINFUCK!

IT HURTS LIKE A FUCK!
Ran tap water onto my feet for about 1 minute trying my very best to hold back the pain. I can literally feel the blood flow as I type write about 4 hours after the incident.

PAIN - THE WORST I EVER FELT IN YEARS.

Now my toe is swollen and there goes wearing shoes for about 1 week.
The toe nail is like blu black and my whole toe swollen, I know I've already said that....but welli welli swollen.
And when I try to move my toe, hurts like a bitch.

Gonna try soaking the feet in warm water later to encourage vasodilation. Hope it heals faster...

So should I wear shoes on one feet and slippers on the other?

2007-06-29T15:36:00.000+08:00

Went for the usual Friday prayers today with Tre...

Hanged Out at Century Square for a while after that...
Visited Metro since they were closing down and were having 50%-off-everything sale.
Pretty cool to shop there I guess, if I had brought some spare cash along.

The toys section had like nearly all the cool toy-cars on display sold. Bummer even though I didnt have cash.

Visited Best Denki, Nokia Store as if we had not visited there before.
More than 50, that's the number of times we've been hanging in those places.

Lastly we went home by bus No. 293 and saw 3 buses arrive to pick up passengers in a mere 5 minute time-frame.
Bus bunching at its finest!

While sitting at the back of the bus, we took pictures of another bus driver behind us, waved goodbye and gave him a flying kiss.
Sang the YMCA song loudly in the bus, song courtesy of my W850i handphone.
Love it.

Here are the pics.